Hey everyone. With all that is happening around the world the good things are harder and harder to find. What does that mean? I mean, as happy as I may be, the pain that I am in overshadows that. I never in my life thought I would be in this much discomfort for the rest of my life.
It's like, wow, can this pain get any worse and yup, it does. I don't think anyone who hasn't dealt with daily pain, not just those minor aches and pains, could understand. My right shoulder and arm hurts like HELL! I wish there was something I could do about it except to wait for my neuromuscular disease to attack a different part of my body.
I won't take pain pills, unless I am forced to, and use my alternative pain reliever. I get tired of doing that also. Tired, yes, I am very tired of all this pain. Over the years my tolerance for pain has increased a lot. Heck, I threw out the 1-10 chart the doctors ask on a pain level. I tell them I'm from 10-20. 10 for most people would be severe. Not every day but more days than not 15 is my average pain score.
Is it the Multiple Chemical Sensitivity? Could be. My hubby is working on the house to make it easier for me to get along. I can no longer get up my 12 stairs to our bedroom and my love brought the bed downstairs. We are simple "poor" people like most around and can't afford the simple things I need to get around safely and have some sort of quality of life.
Could it be the Fibromyalgia? Could be. Is it the neuromuscular disease? Yeah probably. So when you have three things working against you that are all so painful in their own right some days just suck. I am so hypersensitive to everything that it is hard to pin point what flared me up this time.
A sense of humor is my saving grace. I always say when I have lost my sense of humor or/and my fight then people around me better know there is a problem.
So, off on another day to weather my weak, painful, limb with a smile and a tear and know tomorrow will come. The pain may start all over again or have moved to a different spot on my body but I am alive. I am alive to educate people on how chemical exposure can rack your body in ways you never thought possible...and life goes on, with a wince and a smile.
I know there are many more worse off than I. At times like these I can't think of them...I am struggling to get through the day so that maybe I can be a help to someone else. Only my Joe knows the pain I suffer with a brave face, tears running down my cheeks, knowing I have to be strong to help anyone else blessed with any of this. I was excited they were having a Multiple Chemical Sensitive awareness month. I could educate people but others felt differently I guess.
Some say I have a different way of writing, from the heart, and very personable. That's me, trying to help others before myself. On those few "dark" days you wonder when is someone going to help me? That's when I see my Joe and I realize how lucky I am.
Jaime Long Chimner
Cheboygan, MI
No comments:
Post a Comment