To find such love is incredible.....

I never thought I would feel such love for someone. I didn't know this intensity existed. Wow, it's fantastic as my English sister would say. (Or anyone in England for that matter. Fantastic is the word to use over there.)
When he was home for the wedding for weeks it was great. I got used to having him here so when he left was rather traumatic. He says you poor thing and in the beginning, one time, I thought he was making fun of me then I realized he wasn't. He means it when he said you poor thing. I wonder if it bothers him that he has to leave me in that state when he goes back to work. That was a dumb question, I can see it in his eyes. I try not to cry, I do! I wear my heart on my sleeve for him to see and I can't hide anything from him. Nor do I want to.
When he is home and sleeping I watch him. He is so handsome. How lucky--no it wasn't luck it was Jesus and I make sure I praise him everyday for the man he sent me to live the rest of my life with.
I love him so much that I get shy around him. I look at him and blush as he has that special look and I feel shy, like a teenager. A lot of days I don't feel so attractive because I have this thing about my lack of much of a chin, my hair which is a lost cause and having lost so many teeth after the toxic exposure and high Prednisone use during time. I used to have a pretty smile, or at least that was I was told. I take terrible pictures, but that isn't new, it just is worse now. I know he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful. As long as I don't look in a mirror I have a picture of myself in my head how I looked before the toxic exposure, a nice smile, nice hair and no such a lack of chin and oh yeah, the hair again. I want to get a wig and then I don't have to worry if my hair doesn't cover the sparse spots. (I lose a good amount of hair every time I comb it).
He makes me laugh, he makes me figure some things out for myself, he keeps me going. Even when I am just too tired. He makes me eat. I love the way we are thinking the same thought at the same time. Wierd sometimes but cool too.
Corny maybe but I love him more everyday and I didn't think that was possible. I hope I can live up to the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. What I mean is I hope I can keep up with him and if I can't he understands. Some days just getting out of bed and and a bath is all I can muster. Other days I'm off and running but I poop out quickly.
I've been feeling good these last weeks and it feels fantastic! He educates me on healthy stuff and so far I'm willing to try different things. I feel a difference and I like it! Thank you my cowboy and praise Jesus.
emily