Had a good laugh and confusing ex's.

     Thought I might blog about what I started this for, life and ex's or anything else that pops into my head LOL.  
     Had a good laugh yesterday when I was at a friends office and we were talking about ex's.  My friend mentioned I was writing about "all my ex's are not from texas" and then she added a small line under that title "and I don't have a clue what is going on." LOL.  I guess you had to be there.  
     I'm resolved to the fact that my ex's are in my life and that ain't such a bad thing.  I like having them as friends.  We get along so much better.  Forgiveness can be hard but why carry so much emotional baggage when we don't have to.  
    Okay, as women we always have some baggage somewhere and it isn't all bad.  It might have been way back but I'm cool with it.  Where did that come from? "I'm cool with it?"  LOL  Now all my Joe would need would be an ex's reunion.  LOL 
Don't worry anyone, it WON'T happen. LOL  
     I learned a lesson from ex husband #3 today.  Forgiveness.  Yeah, it is possible.  No matter how resentful, hurt, mad or whatever feeling I have I can forgive.  If only others held that same philosophy.  Humph, their loss. 
      My dad died today, 10 years ago, I think it was today.  My heart knows and it made me so sad.  My cousin put flowers on my parents grave in Missouri because I can't get there.  What a nice thing to do.  This week in July is always hard for me.  I have to deal with feelings I shove away the rest of the year.  
    I wasn't there when my dad died. I was in England with boyfriend #2.  I tried and tried but I could not get a flight out that I could afford.  We were flying back to the States in a couple days anyway but my dad was dying.  This was a sad moment to realize the date, I had so many feelings both happy and hurt. 
    All my dad, who yes could be difficult, wanted from us after he passed on was to remember him and laugh about him.  If anyone knows my family knows we didn't do that when he was alive how did he think it would happen when he was gone? There is no family anymore......
    So back again to forgiveness.  I have forgiven myself for letting my dad down.  I'll never forget though at 4 am British time when that phone rang.....I knew what it was for, my dad had passed on.  Boyfriend #2 just took me in his arms and let me sob uncontrollably.  
     For that, I will forever be thankful.  Thanks.  Now I will try and stuff all that stuff back in my brain until next year and it pops out again.